This, probably, is the 5th article draft I’ve written since the last published one. Heck! I can’t even remember the last time I wrote a real paragraph. You know the one that talks without rhymes. For the longest time, I’ve only been writing poetry. I guess that’s because I was inspired to do so. If I’m right, I only write poetry when I am emotionally hyped and charged, but I write good articles when trying times come.
That’s a whole paragraph right there at the top. That must mean something is brewing right? You guessed it right. I’m back at the proverbial square one of life. Again, I’ve got nothing in my pocket and nothing up my sleeve. No more tricks in this trade. If I’m honest, it irks me a lot to be back “here” where everything almost fell apart.
It’s a struggle. It’s a real struggle. While writing this, I came across a dusty post it on my cork board. It’s an excerpt from Psalm 103. As I reviewed it, my eyes all of a sudden got sweaty. (Nope not misty or teary.. sweaty okay? get over it!) So I went to trusty old bible and readied my highlighter. I’ve listened to myself too much these days that I forgot about what God wants to say. Join me in reading this.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
I don’t know if I forgot to do this or I was just pre-occupied with a lot of stuff in my mind. We really have to go back to the basics. We were created to give glory to God. Let’s not be in a posture where we HAVE to do this, but let’s be in a posture where we say “I’m God’s child and I GET to praise Him with all my soul”
2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits —
I probably have forgotten that being a child of God is truly beneficial. I forgot because I did not have a grateful attitude. All I saw was the things which are wrong with my life that I lost focus of what was right.
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
When our mind is too clouded by the wrong things happening around us, we lose focus on the primary benefits of being a child of God. We forget that our sins can be forgiven and that whatever, and I mean whatever, ails us can be healed.
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
Losing focus on the power of God to forgive us, consequently gives us a feeling of condemnation; but God has already redeemed us from the deepest pit. He taught us how to love and be compassionate people.
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Having a condemned feeling gives us dissatisfaction and it wears us down. No wonder I felt like this. God is good. He is able and He is willing to satisfy my desires with ONLY good things so that we become filled again with vigor and life.
Lord, a lot of times I fail to see Your hand at work in me. Most of the time I see the bad things. I see the situation more than Your intention. My eyes are blocked by scales of doubt, worry, anger, impatience, disobedience and sin. My judgement is clouded because I’m too focused on myself and not really looking at You.
I call you Lord because I know you truly are Lord whether I decide to be under your Lordship or not. If You are not Lord of all, then You are not my Lord at all.
I’m back to square one. The first tile. The roots of my faith. I was brought back to where I first saw You. Where I’ve got nothing….
The cross. It is easy to make You Saviour but I admit that it is not easy making You Lord. Help me. I want to give my life fully to You. I can’t do this on my own. Help me not make the same mistakes again. If I’m to weary to walk, carry me.
Abba, I want to be that child who depends fully and solely on You.